34 thoughts on “The Consequences”

  1. All of this is so true, and it didn’t even touch on the mental load involved in grocery shopping and meal preparation. It takes more than the time it takes to so it, there is also the planning that goes into what do we need? When will I shop? Where do I need to go? When will this food prep get done?

    Another area that was missed was the social aspect of life. Going to celebrate a special event with family or friends? What will we bring? Do we need to get a gift or card? Make sure we wrap the gift. Do we have a special occasion coming up? Who should be included? Have we checked in with your parents lately?

    Guests coming over? What needs to be cleaned? Is there enough tissue in the bathroom? Clean towels? Are they staying the night? We need to wash the sheets for the guest bed.

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    2. I disagree about the points involving social occasions and guests. Maybe your partner is introverted, shy, socially anxious, or whatever and hates getting together with other people and having special-occasion parties. I know I do! If I had a man who pressured me into participating in a social life I didn’t want, I would consider leaving him, since he obviously cares more about impressing other people than my feelings and won’t let me just sit at home and read.

      And maybe he doesn’t like his parents and doesn’t feel like talking to them! That’s his choice to make, not yours.

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  8. So true, and do also add chauffering kids around and making sure they are doing well in school and extra curricular activities so they are ‘well rounded individuals’ when they apply for prestigious universities or jobs.. and the taking care of old parents and in laws which is rather significant in some cultures.

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  10. Contraception is a bugbear of mine. My ex husband was going to have a vasectomy once we were done with having babies. When the time came he “wasn’t comfortable” with the idea of someone with a scalpel near his balls. We have 3 children, guess how we got them? Two were Cesarean Sections and one a vaginal birth where I had a fourth degree tear and 2 litre hemorrhage! He knows this, he was there! So I got to stay on hormonal contraception which causes weight gain, acne, extra hair growth, migraines, depression and potentially lots of worse things. I find that the doctors always understate the side effects too. Just me?

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    1. It isn’t just you. Most of the time doctors don’t even tell you the side effects. If they did, a lot of people would probably say, thanks, but no, thanks! I always have a chuckle when I look up “medicines” or hear their ads on the TV, because a lot of them cause side effects that are worse than the original problem, or can kill you with a problem similar to the one you are trying to treat. It’s madness. And yeah, men as so squeamish about their precious balls, but have no issues with women stuffing dangerous hormones into their bodies so they can have worry free fun, and the whole childbirth thing…. Yeah, there will be no equality until men are as “eager” to join in the contraception as women.

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  11. Emma – WordPress

    I would like to get the first book and pre-order the second book please, and if there are comics I would be interested in ordering them Many thanks

    stuart

    ________________________________

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  12. It’s such a relief to finally see someone address this!! It took years for me to realize men didn’t also have to worry about these sorts of things, and they still don’t get it when I try to explain. Is it really so hard to just listen once in a while?

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  14. Very lovely comic, as always. However, surely that must be an error. Women cannot earn 128% less than a man. That is not numerically possible. Do you mean 28%?

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  15. Yes to all of this times 1000. Especially the bit where men inevitably insist that “men have it bad too” in the midst of “listening” to you. Um, no, you little narcissist. As for the contraception dance, I once asked a (male) doctor if there was anything to be done about the sexual side effects of birth control pills, i.e. that they erased my sex drive. He told me “women need to be seduced while men just need a magazine.” I do so love being patronized by a stranger while wearing nothing more than a glorified paper towel. We have a long way to go. Thank you for explaining these issues in such a clear and level-headed way.

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  16. I agree with this post and I can see the frustration a female would have. I didn’t even realise the contraception pills had side effects until my ex told me. Only then I saw how unfair it is with the world always expecting the female to take it and the male just got off easy. Even as a guy, I find it hard to convince other guys that the female is under more mental stress, so I couldn’t even begin to imagine how hard it must be for a woman to convince a man. But this post summarise it quite nicely and I will give them this link to read next time. Thank you for the post.

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  18. Your comics are so important! Thank you for making them! I would love to see more on birth control. There are SO many side-effects that women have to endure that we are never even warned about until it’s too late.

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  19. Even committed women in monogamous relationships who are trying to have children can’t even enjoy thoughtless consequence-free sex. Is it the right time of the month? How can I arrange to have sex during the right time of the month? Do I have time to elevate my hips after sex for 20 minutes to promote optimal conception? Then of course, immediately to the bathroom to clean up.

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  20. One thing I want to say, though, is that some women absolutely love to dress up every day for the fun of it, not to avoid criticism, and I’m one of them. For me, fashion is all about self-expression, not conformity.

    The flipside, though, is that I scrutinize the hell out of men too and expect them to make an effort to look attractive if they want my attention.

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    1. Also, I’m not sure that the mental load of avoiding pregnancy always falls entirely on the woman; according to my mother, my dad was ten times more terrified of an unplanned pregnancy than she was—while they were married! Ever see Kevin Bacon in “She’s Having a Baby”? Yup, that was my old man. 😉

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    2. THIS. I don’t dress up all the time, but when I do, it becomes glaringly apparent which men are reacting to the outfit. And there are always men who get all worked up about wanting my attention and being certain they should have it despite being dressed in maximum schlub themselves.

      The worst offenders sport that American look of khaki shorts that are too small and have a too-small belt digging into a paunch that is overhanging it, a worn graphic t-shirt that is also too small, and white socks and sandals. Probably with a baseball cap. Definitely with ungroomed hair and facial hair. They puff themselves up and beam with certainty that a carefully-dressed woman must want something to do with their choice to not even clean themselves up and wear clothes that fit.

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      1. I have seen these walking horrorshows and don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Actually…I lean towards laughing in their faces.

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  21. Some of those problems aren’t relatable to me, but I think that’s only because one of my autistic traits shields me from understanding or internalizing the way that I’m expected to dress and act.

    Not thinking about how I’m perceived is great for lessening the mental load of living under patriarchy, but of course the downside is that it comes with marginalization.

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  22. This article details the unique challenges women experience in the world, which most men wouldn’t disagre with, I hope. However, without showing the unique challenges men face, and simultaneously comparing the degree of difficulty between men and woman (and implying men have it way easier), you’re presenting a lopsided narrative and coming off as though you’re just playing the victim.

    Further, your generalizing arguments are extremely disrespectful to many men who make an intentional effort to be an equal partner.

    Perhaps if you stopped assuming all men have it so easy and are the worst, you might attract a man who isn’t.

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    1. Why would we talk about you right now? Wow, are you demanding . Write your own. Not one about abstract concepts like the draft which you’ve never experienced.

      Nobody assumes men have things easy. I guess not having a woman to do all the aforementioned is enough to kill innocent women over.

      Men are parasites. You’re no different Tim.

      You’re just desperately trying to guilt trip us into leeching more energy off of us by whining that all familiar whine, ‘what about meeee!!’

      It’s just like when I asked my parents when kids day was on Mothers and Fathers Day. They said ‘every day is kids day.’

      That’s you. Every day is mens day. Every advantage is yours and has been for millenia. But you’re so spoiled and ungrateful that you’re here asking for more after this poor woman took time out of her busy schedule to try and spell it out for you.

      It wasn’t enough before and its not enough for you now.

      What do you even do to better society besides have a job to survive and pay taxes you’re obligated to?

      That’s what I thought.

      I hope you choke.

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  23. Just a translation error I think
    Chlamydia can’t be prevented by urinating after sex

    UTI or urinary tract infects can be rescued

    Chlamydia is an STI and requires barrier protection

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    1. Yes. This is correct. No STD can be prevented just by peeing right away. For that, you need condoms. And, of course, so many nonsexual things can cause UTIs—irritating soaps, holding it in too long, etc., etc. I should know, I was prone to them as a virginal teen—I later found out I have an unusually large bladder, so maybe incomplete emptying was a factor?

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