Here is the english version of my now famous “Fallait demander” ; now available as a book with other stories :
Orders available here or here or here ^_^
Thanks Una from unadtranslation.com for the translation 🙂
Here is the english version of my now famous “Fallait demander” ; now available as a book with other stories :
Orders available here or here or here ^_^
Thanks Una from unadtranslation.com for the translation 🙂
Emma 
Women really need to learn to stop stressing about trivial things, or learn how to communicate properly.
If you want to do 50/50 with chores, set that rule at the beginning. Its really not that hard. And if you have set that rule, check yourself if you have mania.
I had a relationship where she just started doing chores by herself. I would have done it myself, but she was maniac about it. She had to do chores instantly, while I didnt mind doing it later. But for some reason doing it later was so bothersome to her she just needed to do it right then and there. She put clothes in the machine every day, while for me 1 or twice a week was enough. She wasted time ironing clothes that didnt even need ironing (for men only suits need ironing), yet she started ironing my shirts/jeans and complaing about it, when I never asked?? She also wasted her time rearranged clothes in the drawer, as if it matters. Wasted her time cleaning the same floor that was clearly clean already. Not even gonna mention about how bad she was with time management. Something that took me 2 minutes to clean took her 15, and she didnt even do a better job. Just slow and inefficent.
Its mental stress. There is nothing healthy about constantly stressing about chores. It wont harm anyone doing it later when you feel like it. Absolutely nobody. Only your maniac mind.
Girls, go see a therapist about your mania, instead of making sexist comics. Learn time management, be fast and efficient.
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Pat Pat, it’s really interesting that you “had” this relationship. A lucky escape for that poor woman.
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looks like someone missed the memo
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go fuck yourself, Pat.
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Tell me you didn’t understand the whole point of this comic without telling me you didn’t understand the whole point of this comic
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Pat Pat is heavily triggered, denial is the first step Pat Pat! We are so proud of you sweetie!
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Look at this man baby trying to defend his disgusting behaviour. Go learn how to cook, fold your boxers and help out your gf (if you ever have one again, hopefully not)
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stfu bro
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“I had a relationship where she just started doing chores by herself. I would have done it myself, but she was maniac about it. She had to do chores instantly, while I didnt mind doing it later.”
Everything we need to know is right here. “had a relationship” (she got sick of you not helping), “would have done it myself” (but didn’t). “didn’t mind doing it later” (read the comic above, she needed to do it now because there were 5 more things you also weren’t worried about that she needs to do later). There’s nothing sexist about this comic, you’re just bitter.
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Pat, as a fellow man, I think you have missed the point. The example you give is particular (and subjective). I believe most men would benefit reading this comic, as uncomfortable as it may be. Maybe ask yourself why you have the reaction you did. It changed my life, and I already considered myself ‘on top of things’ before reading it.
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What an excellent example of the exact kind of sexism on which the comic was shedding light.
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You sound like part of the problem, actually. LOL at this reply.
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Read She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes By The Sink
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shut the absolute fuck up. Women work hard to get housework done on behalf of partners that rarely ever actually help out or try to be helpful. You bragging about your inability to understand stress and calling it “mania” (and not even using the correct term) makes you stupid, not superior. Sincerely, a man
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Do you hear yourself? 🙈how patronising and clueless can you be… hope you are very young but somehow I feel you may be older and a somewhat lost cause…
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hey Pat, how often did you cook, clean, shop, take care of bills, etc? Did your sexist attitude perhaps encourage your break-up? Bc you sound like an insufferable incel the way you’re talking.
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Not the commenter Pat pat proving the point of the article. 🤣 Good for his ex for being an ex. He sounds useless.
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Despite Pat Pat’s disparaging and hateful presentation, this particular case, which is by no means representative, is nonetheless very interesting.
Indeed, the desperate life scenarios that patriarchy creates for women can push a minority of them to overwhelm themselves with household chores that prevent them from ‘thinking too much’ about their oppressed situation. ‘Housework relaxes me,’ many of us sometimes say in moments of anxiety and denial.
An even deeper mechanism of these millennia of patriarchal society is that some women do not even know how to exist, outside the role of housewife. This is especially true if our female role model was already that of a stay-at-home mother who took on all the mental load. We then find it difficult to imagine what else we could do, who we are or how we could flourish outside of managing the home. When society has assigned us tasks from childhood and all our mental space is occupied, how can we project ourselves into what would suit us better?
These are the most pernicious consequences of the patriarchal model: women are deprived of part of their imagination, they do not have the mental space to imagine themselves differently, and they set their own limits.
For what could be more frightening and less relaxing than a free-thinking woman who is in control of her own destiny, for a man like Pat Pat, who has certainly been rejected by one of them in the past? He should discuss this with his therapist; it’s never too late to heal old wounds and become a better man.
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Hey All, I just had a tough convo with my wife about this, and I really do want to change and start doing some more mental work.
The difference I find between my case and most of the articles and comments I’ve read is that I do almost all of the recurring tasks for the house, and I do them from start to finish. This includes, grocery shopping, cooking, dishes, vacuuming and bathrooms, walking the dog, budgetting, doing diy home improvements, yard work, sheets, etc… plus I work full time.
Saying that, I acknowledge that I struggle with the non recurring tasks and that I let her make almost all the decisions.
I think our dynamic has become stuck in a parent/child dynamic though. Even though in many areas I do take accountability, it just doesn’t seem to count if there are any other areas that I don’t. Also, I unfortunately have been resistant to many responsibility, even though I am content to do them now and don’t feel resentment about them.
I frankly feel powerless and unable to bring up my own desires and emotions, one them being that I feel dead exhausted many days from the many things I do. I spend on average 30 minutes a day, barely responding, while she vents about things at work, but I usually get the conversation shut down when I start to vent. Any time I try to express a need I’m usually met with defensiveness.
I want to work to a more equal feeling partnership, but all our conversations are so one sided, and even when I do try to express a preference or make a decision, she will have the final say. Also, any time I’m cooking in the kitchen, even though I’ve cooked hundreds of meals, I’ll suddenly get constant recommendations about the way I should be doing things instead. This extends to other tasks as well, which I feel like is her taking more mental load than needed (I’ve never had a serious kitchen mishap)
I’m kind of venting, but would be happy to hear any advice or thoughts.
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