Do you want me to do it ? (no)

A message to guys : taking your part of the mental load is not asking what you can do to “help”, but it is not finish our current task once we are embarked in it either !

It is knowing BY YOURSELF what must be done. Just take 10 seconds so scan the room around you 🙃

A good resolution for 2019 isn’t it? 😁



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26 thoughts on “Do you want me to do it ? (no)

    1. Hi thought a bit harsh. We (as an illness) always fall back on “you dont understand” and then something like (not wishing on own enemies) wah wah
      Its true though its so embarressing to be in such a pitiful state…………hang on i better read illustrations be sen…..d…i..n..g✊


    1. I feel like you and I have the same brain and the same husband and it freaks me out but I really love feeling like someone else feels this way and I’m not crazy. Thank you for all of these working-mom-life comics, you are an incredible woman.


      1. Oh and then we are known to be pushy and nudge-y. I don’t want to be seen as that person but it’s the men that put us in that situation on purpose. Not cool.


    1. Men are capable of taking responsibility. They don’t need women to direct them in every single moment of their lives. This man is asking for specific direction so he doesn’t have to do the simple mental work of LOOKING AROUND for himself. It’s infuriating, lazy, and making excuses for it enables this behavior.

      Liked by 4 people

    2. Thats the whole point – you shouldnt have to ask!!!! Why cant he just look for himself and see what needs doing without constantly needing to be prompted? That’s whats not rocket science, him behaving like a mature, responsible adult and not having to be constantly directed and pointed in the right direction like a child. Strange how organised and motivated men are when its something for them or something they are interested in……………………..


      1. Yes, you should, for the very same reason you say in the last line. If we’re not interested in something, then we won’t do it. You don’t want to ask your man to do something not because of a “mental load”, you don’t want to ask because you want men not only to do those things, you want him to WANT to do those things. And that’s never gonna happen.


  1. Funny, my wife does this exact thing. “I didn’t know you wanted that cleaned up too… It’s been there for days/weeks since I left it there…”

    It goes both ways. And no, I’m not perfect.


      1. She is expecting him to direct her. All he is saying is that the reverse of what is happening in the comic is also possible.


    1. Anecdotal evidence of one situation in which the reverse is true doesn’t mean that this comic isn’t overwhelmingly accurate for most women. If you have that situation than you know how exhausting it can be and should be able to relate rather than telling us we’re all wrong because your individual experience is different.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I shared this content with my husband at 11pm. not good timing. He was enraged, insulted, hurt and basically furious. Stopped out of the house. Came back (whew). I told him I wasn’t trying to start a fight or hurt him. I was trying to share a great articulation of how I feel, what it is like to be me, why I hate working outside the home, in addition to working inside the home. I told him this is why I am edgy, snappy, bitchy, stressed, covertly exasperated. I just trust our love and that he would CARE how it is for me (and many women). Let me say this: It has taken our marriage and home life to a new and wonderful place. He looks around to help, asks me if I am OK and what is on my mind, what could I delegate that he might not be aware of (signing kids up for camps etc)…I feel 10 years younger. So much relief. It is really really a mental load. And when it is shared in conversation as much as actual effort, the EXHALE is the force of a tsunami. Thank you for sharing all of this. And thanks to my husband who de-escalated enough to really hear me. I couldn’t take it any more. It was just too much. And I don’t want my daughter to be raised to believe she has to carry the load, someday. I was modeling that….so, no more. Our family is a “WE” and our home is “ours” and the mental load is shared as are the chores.

    Liked by 3 people

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