Do you want me to do it ? (no)

A message to guys : taking your part of the mental load is not asking what you can do to “help”, but it is not finish our current task once we are embarked in it either !

It is knowing BY YOURSELF what must be done. Just take 10 seconds so scan the room around you ๐Ÿ™ƒ

A good resolution for 2019 isn’t it?ย ๐Ÿ˜

 

 

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16 thoughts on “Do you want me to do it ? (no)

    1. Men are capable of taking responsibility. They don’t need women to direct them in every single moment of their lives. This man is asking for specific direction so he doesn’t have to do the simple mental work of LOOKING AROUND for himself. It’s infuriating, lazy, and making excuses for it enables this behavior.

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  1. Funny, my wife does this exact thing. “I didn’t know you wanted that cleaned up too… It’s been there for days/weeks since I left it there…”

    It goes both ways. And no, I’m not perfect.

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      1. She is expecting him to direct her. All he is saying is that the reverse of what is happening in the comic is also possible.

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  2. I shared this content with my husband at 11pm. not good timing. He was enraged, insulted, hurt and basically furious. Stopped out of the house. Came back (whew). I told him I wasn’t trying to start a fight or hurt him. I was trying to share a great articulation of how I feel, what it is like to be me, why I hate working outside the home, in addition to working inside the home. I told him this is why I am edgy, snappy, bitchy, stressed, covertly exasperated. I just trust our love and that he would CARE how it is for me (and many women). Let me say this: It has taken our marriage and home life to a new and wonderful place. He looks around to help, asks me if I am OK and what is on my mind, what could I delegate that he might not be aware of (signing kids up for camps etc)…I feel 10 years younger. So much relief. It is really really a mental load. And when it is shared in conversation as much as actual effort, the EXHALE is the force of a tsunami. Thank you for sharing all of this. And thanks to my husband who de-escalated enough to really hear me. I couldn’t take it any more. It was just too much. And I don’t want my daughter to be raised to believe she has to carry the load, someday. I was modeling that….so, no more. Our family is a “WE” and our home is “ours” and the mental load is shared as are the chores.

    Liked by 2 people

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